Article sent by Sanja Rivic:
Fearlessly Facing a Life-Threatening Diagnosis - Terri Cole
How can you be fearless when facing
a serious diagnosis? Fearlessness and sickness don’t really seem to go
together. But they can.
When I use the term fearlessness, I
do not mean the absence of fear. I mean using fear to inform you as
apposed to allowing it to run you.
I am a two-time cancer survivor.
When I was diagnosed, I was absolutely terrified. I was forced to figure out
how to make informed decisions while also being sensitive to how my diagnosis
would affect all of the people who loved me. I was worried how they
would experience my diagnosis. I knew that if I were terrified on a daily
basis, I would not make the best choices. I also realized that I couldn’t
control how others experienced my situation. I had to have faith they would
handle it themselves. (They did.) All I could do was decide my next right
action and request that those in my life treat me normally.
Lifestyle Choices I Found Helpful
1. Creating Present Moment Awareness
Mindfulness is one of the best
antidotes for fear. This required me learn how to meditate. I
saw such a transformation in meditating and harnessing the power of my
intention, that meditation is now the cornerstone to my therapy practice. It
doesn’t have to be long and time consuming and complicated. It can be as simple
as pausing to take three deep breaths every three hours to stay grounded. This
strengthens your problem-solving capability. Present moment awareness can
minimize fearfully projecting into the future, thinking of all the paths your
scenario might go down.
2. Staying Physically Fit
I took up boxing because I was
really angry and wanted to hurt someone. Not only was there the obvious benefit
of releasing anger by punching and kicking, but also there was something about
being physically strong that greatly reduced how much fear impacted me.
3. Being in a Good Relationship
Stay connected. Rather than
retreating from loved ones, stay close. Companionship and sharing is a
wonderful way to stay grounded and present. If you are in a partnership,
maintain an active sex life. Stay as normal as possible. My husband saw me as
whole and as the same Terri as always, so I didn’t feel damaged. Scared, yes;
damaged, no. He didn’t treat me differently. Other people did, and it made me
feel terrible. When people treat you the same and look at you the same as when
you were healthy, it keeps you on the path of wellbeing. Inside I was the same
and manifesting that cancer was temporary.
4. Speaking and Feeling Health into
Being
As soon as my second cancer
experience was behind me, I affirmed my perfect health.
When someone asked me how I was, I would say, “I’m perfectly healthy.” (I
stopped saying “healthy as a hog” because A. I was gaining weight, and B. I
realized hogs in the US are probably not all that healthy) I would not speak
about it any other way. I still do this and remain perfectly healthy fifteen
years later. I cannot say that this positive stance cured me, but it sure made
me feel empowered. I believe what we focus on gains strength, so I focused on
being well.
While a diagnosis of any serious
illness is fear inducing, you are stronger than your fear mind. I would love to
hear your thoughts and strategies that have worked for you, whether it was an
illness or other life-altering event, so please drop a comment.
A great
quote I want to share:
“You gain strength, courage, and
confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the
face.”
Eleanor
Roosevelt
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